Writer

          I am humbly asking for an opportunity to present my literary projects in hopes of some positive feedback. I am writing several books that reflect the last ten years of my life. Of which I have no clue as to what things were real and what things threw me so far off course in not only my careers, but to also experience a loss of myself. Feelings of failure and like less of a person at times.

Having many feelings that I had sat back helplessly and unattached to my soul. Letting others make critical decisions for myself. Things that were never in my best interests, or in their heart and minds, of how other people walk over people that they do not respect. For the most part being the lack of respect that they have for themselves. To deal with feelings of re-learning how to forgive myself, move on, and live in the present.

            My life experiences are mainly internalized (self- psychoanalysis). The many inward and outward mental and emotional struggles that one must journey and experience in a short life span. Trying to understand my emotions. How my views changed in the presence of love, during periods of an open/closed mind and heart at times. To turn my knowledge into wisdom from daily observances and experiences within different aspects of my life.

To quickly catch onto, analyze, and see why and how people talk and act to survive among enduring different social and psychological issues. Ie: How people adapt to learning in a positive or a negative aspect within different environments. For me to break down those life learned lessons, and how I dealt with them, and other times that I couldn’t cope. Because two situations seemed so different and far apart, and me learning a new way to train myself to see the commonalities, and associations in our daily problems.

To make external role models (feeding ourselves false hopes, Brittany Spears etc.), in the absence of someone real and present in our daily lives. To prove how much society makes us look outside ourselves for things that are not real, which is also a break down of the very fabric of close knit families, as well as friendships. To get sidetracked, lose belief in our selves, not deal with our past, neglect our daily routines of learning life’s lessons, and to put our positive efforts into negative baskets, hoping for a better means to an end of a problem.

To only get to see that there is no solution to the problem and spiritual shovel to dig our souls out of the pits of hell we put ourselves into daily. To consistently make the wrong decisions and feel that those with the answers are always hiding the answers, and to not be SHOWN- not told (through love), how to heal themselves, or properly know where to find our answers. I am not talking about the well educated, the minority being today’s average or even below average intelligences of people from all races, backgrounds, and countries. The constant underdogs amongst our society, and the ignorance’s of man.

            Examining myself; experiences within my environment and how I cope to understand the dynamics within cultural, class, and gender differences. Being of two worlds, torn between others views, opinions and perspectives, intertwined with my own of race. Being of Black and Hispanic origin, and living within a misunderstood, contradictory, and mis-communicated environment. Trying to understand others’ ignorance’s, my own values, ways of life, self-esteem, self respect, etc.. all at once, while trying to be alert, aware, and present in all of our decision making of every day life, for our families, friends, spouses;  leading to our being burnt out, overwhelmed, inconsistent, multi-tasking our mental and physical states of being.

Showing in my books, my upbringing through a family of women sand their struggles/ turmoils that they have endured within their lifetime, their achievements, accomplishments, passed down beliefs, and values. Things that I have learned about life, while living life, (surrogate mothers, extended families. Etc),.

All books revolve around my trainings, up-brining, self taught lessons that have led to mastery of a subject, based upon the bible teachings through my parents. To help build a conscience from being taught positive morals and values. To always analyze, think consistently, constantly of what level I am at in all areas of my life, as well as to always examine and analyze where other people are psychologically, socially, metaphorically, and literally. To realize their own full potential, and that there is a schematic outlined and planned out for my life, as well as everyone else’s. To believe that anything is possible, if you just change your mentality and perceptions. 

I hope my stories will make an impact on all people, to help straighten out the Black and Latin youth of today in America. There is a great need for the setting of good clean examples and morals for these children and adolescents. Babies having babies, and juvenile crime that is on a rise. To help others unlock the secrets of what we all posses inside but need help, guidance and nurturing so desperately. Their actions and behaviors cry out for attention constantly.